Alia Bhatt jokes

Alia Bhatt - Safola oil toh de diya bhaiya. Is kee sath ka gift nahi diya.

Shopkeeper -  Isske sath koyi gift nahi hai.

Alia - Ullu matt banao isme likha hai "Cholesterol Free"                  

Varun - How many apples can you eat on an empty stomach?

Aliya - I can eat 6 apples.

Varun - Wrong. you can eat only 1 apple on empty stomach bcoz when you eat the 2nd apple that’s not an empty stomach!

Aliya: Wow superb joke. I’ll tell my friend..

Aliya to Shraddha - How many apples you can eat on an empty stomach?

Shraddha - I can eat 10.

Aliya - Pagal.. 6 bolti to mast joke sunati!!

Alia Bhatt calls the Help Desk to complain a computer problem.

Alia - When I type computer password, it just shows star star star star. What's the problem?

Help Desk - Dear lady, those stars are to protect you, so that if a person is standing behind, he can't read your password.

Alia - Yeah, but stars appear even when there is no one standing behind me.

Help Desk -

First time in the history it has happened....!

Rajnikant vs Alia.

Question to both in a competition.

What is half of 8?

Rajni: 4

Alia: Depend karta hai ....

agar horizontally half karo to ''0'' or vertically karo to ''3''

Rajnikant still unconcious...!!!
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Alia bhatt: Hey dad, what plans for weekend ?

Mahesh bhatt: Income Tax Returns.
      
Alia bhatt: Hey first part kab release hua tha?

Mahesh bhatt:  Jaa meri ma, tu shooting pe ja!!!

100 metre ki race ho rahi thi...

Referee said '1,2,3 GO!'...

Everybody started running except Alia bhatt.

Referee - Y r u not running...?

Alia - My number is 4.

SBI Bank: Humara bank aapko bina interest ke loan de raha hai....

Alia bhat: Agar dene mein interest hi nahi hai to kyu de rahe ho? Nahi chahiye....

Once there was a mirror that killed anyone who lied...

FRENCH : I think I dont smoke (died).

AMERICAN : I think I love my wife (died).

ALIA BHATT: I think.. (died)

Alia bhatt and varun dhawan are walking on a road, and they find a 1000 rupee note lying down.

Alia - What should we do now?

Varun- We'll take 50:50.

Alia- What about the remaining 900?

Alia Bhatt: Let's go for movie.
Varun: Shit, I've got a doctor's appointment today..

Alia Bhatt: Just cancel it,Tell him you're sick.

Alia reading newspaper..

News:
"Indian athlete lost gold medal in long jump"

Aalia comments:
Idiot !!
Who told him to wear gold medal while jumping!!!

Deepika Padukone : I have more Fans than You..

Alia Bhatt: No Big deal, I have AC at Home.